Transfer Window: The Comings and Goings

Last we left you the transfer window had just opened and both teams were desperately needing reinforcements to help gain a strangle hold on the league.

Firstly we will look at Celtic who realistically have the stronger team to begin with and are the only team with an actual budget.  They also have the benefit of a higher reputation, due to Rangers having spent last season in the Championship. As such the quality of players available is much higher, leading to a frustrating window for Rangers.

Celtic – Outgoings

Leigh Griffiths – 5.75m Everton

Firstly let me begin by saying usually I would do everything in my power to keep Griffiths. He has very high technical skills (15) good long shots (17) and good finishing (16). However, he has conspired to miss training 3 times and has been an all around ass hole.

Scoring 5 goals in 23 appearances whilst Dembele has now scored 30 is in 34 is just not the way to make up for training when you feel like it. So he was shipped to Everton with very little fanare.

Celtic – Arrivals

Eduardo da Silva – 245k

Eduardo da Silva_ Overview Profile.png

Signed as a replacement for Griffiths, Eduardo formerly of Arsenal leg break fame arrives ironically injured. He cant play until the end of February but fulfills all of the same requirements as Griffiths for none of the hassle. Whilst his physical attributes would usually have me recoiling in fear, Tixi Taka cares nothing of such trivial matters as he is too busy distracted by his silky skills.

Will Keane – Loan – Future fee 725k

Will Keane_ Overview Profile.png

Signed on a loan initially Will Keane arrives to add some actual youth to the team. Geriatrics are nice because of their increased technical and mental attributes but the team also requires players we can mold to our liking. Tiki-taka works best when the culture is ingrained in the player and Keane’s relatively high technical attributes and room to grow allow this to be a good potential move.

Harry Wilson – Loan – no future fee

Harry Wilson_ Overview Profile.png

Signed to fill a short term wing crisis, Wilson would actually make a good permanent signing. He has high technique stats (16) good dribbling (15) and a decent first touch (14). Whilst his passing leads a lot to be desired (11) out on the wings this is not too much of an issue. At 19 years of age we may be able to secure a permanent signing in the future once the might of Celtic has been established.

Patrick Roberts – Loan extended until 2018

Patrick Roberts_ Overview Profile.png

The kids a genius what more do you want from me?


Rangers desperately needed a new CB, a new LWB and a few CMs, with the need for a prolific striker being somewhat diminished by Mason Bennett And Ousman Manneh remembering that they are actually supposed to score some goals.

Rangers – Outgoings

Literally nobody wants to sign this garbage don’t be silly


Rangers – Arrivals

Nigel Reo-Coker – Free

Nigel Reo-Coker_ Overview Profile.png

I know right? Who even knew he still existed. But I digress, Mister Muscle did consider Reo-Coker at  the beginning of the season however at the time our CMs had functioning bodies so he was passed over. Now however with achilles tendons snapping like twigs and an ability to play multiple positions, Reo-Coker is looking more attractive than that last girl on the dance floor at closing. Snapped up on a free and actually willing to play for Rangers the choice was a no brainer.

Tyrone Mings – Loan –  Monthly Fee- 14.75k – No Future Fee agreed

Tyrone Mings_ Overview Profile.png

Fast, tall, relatively strong, and with strong tackling, dribbling and crossing attributes, Mings represents the ideal signing for Rangers in the LWB position. Whilst still young there is literally no chance of him agreeing to a permanent move currently, and even if he would, Rangers have hopes and dreams in their bank account and nothing more. The loan deal will have to do for now.

Jordan Williams – Loan – 6kpm Fee – No future fee agreed

Jordan Williams_ Overview Profile.png

All physical stats above 10! The perfect Muscle signing. and not too shabby technical or mental attributes either… Similarly to Mings, has no interest in a permanent signing however I am actually quietly confident we may be able to change that in the future…

Dave Bulthuis – 66k

Dave Bulthuis_ Overview Profile.png

Finally an actual transfer! “Yeah but who is he?” I hear you ask, well, I have no idea either. But he is strong as a motherfucker and can play CB or LB. With a long throw to rival that of Rory Delap Rangers are well on their way to becoming the Scottish Stoke. Come at us Messi, there are now two places in Great Britain you’d be terrified of you little latin midget.


So that’s the transfer window, both teams have actually agreed a couple of end of contract signings that will strengthen the team for next season however as they cannot be used until then I don’t believe there is much point in revealing them just now.

So soak it in, we have strengthened both teams areas as best we can even if Rangers did not get the striker we would have liked. Stay tuned for the 30 game milestone update and for the run in for the title.

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